Tags
busy, crazy-busy, Martha Beck, oneness, retreats, too busy, wordlessness
It’s funny, I was talking to a good friend about my crusade against the word “crazy-busy” and this idea of everyone telling everyone else how busy they are all the time, like it’s a badge of honor.
And surprisingly, she said, “Do you know how embarrassing it is not to be busy? What are you supposed to tell people?”
Oh. Right. That’s how we show that all is well in our culture. A packed calendar, a list of accomplishments – a whole lot of doing, doing, doing. We’re fine – we’re just so busy!
Me – I’m starting to rebel against this kind of thinking. For the past bunch of years, I’ve been slowly chipping away at this concept. Now when people ask, “How are you? Really busy?” I’ve stopped saying, “Oh, yeah. Things are just so busy.” Because I really don’t want to live that way anymore.
Sure, sometimes I’m still busy, and sometimes my days are super-full. But I’m not all proud of it anymore. In fact, when my calendar gets too stuffed, I get honest with myself about what’s going on that’s led me to pile up so many appointments or commitments. I get really curious. Especially if I’m saying yes to everyone but myself.
I know what you might be thinking – that you don’t have any choice. That there’s absolutely nothing you can do to escape the modern scourge of busyness. Or that if you do elect to be less busy, that you’ll be excluded, ostracized, shunned. And God forbid you don’t sign your kids up for every available sport, activity, party, etc. Really – if we weren’t busy with all of this stuff, what would we post on Facebook? Pictures of us finally getting enough sleep???
If you are craving a weekend of less busy and more you, with time to think and reflect and perhaps create a new reality for yourself by figuring out how to say yes to what you really want and no to what you don’t, consider joining me for my Clarity and Connections retreat in beautiful St. Francisville, LA, July 27-29. A small group of women gaining clarity about what we really want and connecting with nature, ourselves and each other. With waterfalls included! Check out the details here.
I’ve designed it for me – what I mean is that it’s exactly what I want when I’m craving a weekend to press my own internal reset button. There will be plenty of Wordlessness à la Martha Beck, plus free time to lounge and reflect, along with some powerful tools that will give you major clarity, fast, even if like me, you’re already sold on the idea of backing off on busy.
$99 reserves your spot, and there’s still time to get the early bird rate! Click here to go to the information page.
And I’d love to hear your thoughts about busyness. How are you dealing with it in your daily life?
Stephanie said:
I have really tried to stop using the word “busy.” To me, it’s just really hard to sort that out from “stressful” and “not good.” Even the things keeping me busy are really good. So, instead, I try to say I’ve been very full and trying to use that as a way to keep some of what I do in perspective. That yes, busy is the gold star in our culture, but it doesn’t feel good to me anymore. It makes me cranky, fussy, and just plain miserable. And that’s not how I want to live my life!
Thank you for the conversation starter!
Carla said:
I love that, Stephanie! I agree that busy sounds like “too much” where full can be “just right” – it’s full, not overflowing! It’s a beautiful, full, joyous life! And sometimes I like to have my days be “full” of nothing. That feels especially good! Thanks for your thoughtful comments!
Robin said:
It’s a funny thing, but people think I must be bored because I don’t have a career outside of the home, and I spend time taking walks every day instead of driving myself crazy with busyness. Once I quit working outside of the home, the #1 question (and #2 question) put to me was: “But what do you DO all day? Aren’t you BORED?”
I have never been less bored, and I love that I can take my time doing the chores, the gardening, and whatever else I have planned for the day, if I have plans at all. I’ve discovered the secret to busyness that you mentioned: If I’m super busy, I need to step back and look at why. I tend to load up my daily schedule when I’m avoiding something I should be doing for myself.
Wish I could join one of your outings. Perhaps someday I’ll be in the area. 🙂
Carla said:
I feel the same way – while I still spend many hours a day tutoring and coaching and other assorted “working”, I cannot fathom how anyone could be bored. There is so much to enjoy in daily living – reading, planning meals and preparing food, conversation, time in nature, walks, writing, creative work, yoga – my daily struggle is to be ok with whatever I did do and not worry about the million things I didn’t do! And I do hope our paths cross in person some day – I may show up on your boggy doorstep sometime, or you can come to NOLA. 😉