Wordless Wednesdays – summer scenes

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In the past week, I’ve canoed through a beautiful bayou to reach the lake at sunset, walked amidst towering cypress trees to watch the moon rise, and sat in the grass in my front yard staring up at mockingbirds and blue jays sharing the power lines while a cicada made the most amazingly loud sound just over my head in the pine tree.  When I try to describe these experiences with words, they always come out as lists of things seen.  But the experience itself, being there, is so much more than that.  I guess that’s why it’s called wordlessness.  If you live in the NOLA area and want to reconnect with nature and experience some wordlessness for yourself, come join me next week for sunrise wordless walks at the swamp. More details here:

Meanwhile, enjoy these peaceful images from my recent explorings…

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SIMU – it’s worse than FOMO!

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IMG_4379Have you heard of FOMO?  It stands for Fear Of Missing Out and I’ve seen it mentioned in at least a dozen places in recent months.  Apparently, we’re all way more susceptible to this now that we can’t just see what the neighbors are doing, but instead we’re plugged into everyone’s life and their pretty photos of their cocktails or dance party or beach vacation or whatever.  And Instagram filters make everything look so arty! While we plug into social media and all the rest of the media out there, instead of enjoying where we are, we wonder why we’re not in Bali, or climbing some mountain in South America, or at that cool new restaurant that everyone is talking about.  And we get all full of anxious chemicals. So we’re usually instructed to unplug for goodness sake and pay attention to whatever we’re actually doing.  And/or take our own photos of cocktails or babies or cats or mountains – and enjoy how pretty they look on Instagram too! (At least this is what I do – I love an arty Instagram photo!)

But there’s something just as insidious as FOMO, at least for me.  I call it SIMU and that stands for S#%t I Made Up.  Or Stuff I Made Up if you prefer. And this is something I used to do to myself (honestly I still do it sometimes!) without any help or cocktail photos from anyone else.  I would create gigantic lists of stuff that had to get done.  I  would come up with plans to do way more than is actually possible for someone like me who also likes to nap.  And then I would fill up with anxious chemicals when I’d only do ten percent of it.  I’d wake up stressing about how I was gonna get it all done and go to bed stressing about what I didn’t do.

This wasn’t stuff I had to do – it was Stuff I Made Up!  In the world of self-help we can really make some serious lists of everything that’s going to edify us and make us better people.  But the truth is, none of it was crucial.  If i didn’t feel like yoga class one day, so what? If I didn’t feel like writing in my journal, so what?  If I didn’t feel like blogging, the world would not stop.  Slowly, slowly, I’ve been learning to stop stressing about self-imposed made up stuff, and get clearer and clearer about what it is that I actually want to do. Sometimes I want to practice yoga.  Sometimes I want to blog.  Often I want to write.  I always want to read!

In the 21st century first world, pretty much everything we stress about is made up.  By us. Fabricated. Most of what we tell others we’re so busy doing and preparing for and overwhelmed by is purely by choice.  We could survive, and potentially thrive, with way less. Sometimes the fabrications are created by society and culturally ingrained so they feel real, but they’re still made up. Which means we have a choice.

I’m choosing to give up some of my SIMU in order to be able to savor whatever I’m doing in the moment.  There is magic in what is happening now.  Especially when I pick something to engage in that I love, that challenges me or piques my curiosity.  Something I really want to do, not what I think I’m supposed to want to do.  Something related to my own desires, not societal expectations.

And then I pick that thing and show up.  All the way.  All senses present.  Instead of half there because my mind has drifted off to some other place in the past or future.  Whether it’s sitting in the grass doing nothing, practicing my French (still loving that!), writing a blog post or making a pie, I’m there. I might take an Instagram photo though- and make it all arty… 🙂

How about you?  Have you discovered some SIMU recently that you don’t feel like doing anymore?  What would your summer feel like if you dumped the SIMU every day that you just don’t want to do?  Would that give you more time and space for the stuff you really care about, the stuff that you keep putting off?

If you want to chat about this further, come join my class tonight called Pie in the Sky -it’s all about bringing back the fun and getting something done this summer, and one strategy is to dump your unwanted SIMU.  And if you’re reading this blog post way after the fact, the class will be recorded, so you can get it anytime!

Savoring Summer

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Every year, when I think about summer, I notice this big competition in my brain. On the one hand, I picture all the good stuff from my childhood – a blank expanse of days to do with what I want, run around in the sprinkler, go to the pool, eat popsicles, ride bikes until it’s too dark to see, read endlessly without interruption, and go camping!  On the other hand, the adult part of my brain stacks up a bunch of projects and tasks that are going to get done “this summer”. Like my brand new website.  And cool programs I’m working on.  And lots of writing.  And house renovation stuff.  The list can get pretty long.  And worrying about or avoiding what’s on the “adult” list or slogging through too many projects in one day both can cut into my ability to enjoy the fun stuff.  If I’ve worked all day I’m resentful that there wasn’t some lovely pool time, and if I’ve avoided or worried instead, maybe “sneaking” some fun in like a marathon reading session of a book I can’t put down, then I’m also kind of miserable, because I didn’t do my work.

This summer I’ve decided to change things up.  The first thing I realized I needed to change were my unreasonable expectations about what I can actually accomplish in a summer. Summer is not infinite, even though it seemed that way in early June back when we were seven years old.   The other thing I realized is that I was tired of not enjoying the “fun” things because I was only half there, the other half of me worrying about the big projects that were sitting untouched.  So I decided to get gentle with myself.  I sat down and created a beautiful vision board for summer with lots of relaxing pinks and blues, and words like “gentle”, “short and sweet”, “easy” and “celebrate”.

IMG_4071I decided to prioritize a couple of extra-fun things for myself.  I’m studying French!  I’m practicing French every day, something completely new to me, and it is such FUN! I’m also making sure there are plenty of excursions, big and small, this summer. About two days after I made this board, I headed out on the Appalachian Trail for a week, and look at what I saw on the first day!

IMG_4123It’s like my vision board came to life before my eyes, with the exact same colors.  The woods were full of pink rhododendrons and fluffy white mountain laurel.  The clouds and sky were lavender and blue.  Truly magical.

Oh, and the couple of big projects like my website and programs?  Now that I’ve given myself some space and permission to have some real and unobstructed fun, they’re happening too, in a reasonable and happy way.  Free (mostly) of angst. I know – it sounds kind of pie in the sky. But it’s amazing how some tiny mental shifts can make such a difference.

pie in the sky squareIf you’re in a similar boat and want a little more help getting your summer straight and having it be a tasty mix of fun and getting stuff done, you’re invited to my one hour class called Pie in the Sky!  It’s on Tuesday, June 25, 7:30 p.m. Central, on the phone (recorded if you can’t make it live), and it’s going to be fabulous!  Pie recipes will be included!  We’ll figure out how you can savor your summer instead of slog through it, while still getting some major stuff accomplished. Details and sign up here. Come join if it feels delicious!

Wordless Wednesdays – swamp sunrises and sunsets

I’m going to the swamp for sunrise wordless walks to usher in July.  Come join me if you like, or if you live far away consider where you might want to view a summer sunrise.  Or a moonrise too.  For NOLA people, Details are here.

Meanwhile, if you don’t want to wait until June 23 for moonrise or July 1-4 for my sunrise walks, please enjoy some photos from recent wordless walks.  I will be quiet now and let the photos do the talking – except to ask you to find the owl in the pic with the purple flowers, and the bunny on the boardwalk…

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Lessons from the Dalai Lama

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You know, I put him on my vision board last summer – and then he came to New Orleans this spring and I got to go see him!  That makes me two for two with vision board celebs – Madonna and His Holiness.

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In honor of the visit from the Dalai Lama, the city draped itself in Tibetan prayer flags.  They are hanging, large and small, in long rows and tucked in tiny corners everywhere – over shops, homes, along power lines.  They are beautiful and hopeful and I love that people are keeping them up well after his visit.  We have them hung over our porch and I’m in no hurry to take them down.  I think in Tibet they stay up until they disintegrate.

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Here’s the good stuff I gathered from his talk:

The way to control violence is to control hatred and increase forgiveness and tolerance.

Our individual futures depend on community. We must think as a community– as a global community.

A calm mind is very important.

When you have affection and compassion, you’re happy, regardless of social standing.

Our problems do not stem from lack of education or lack of money, but from lack of inner peace.

Solving the world’s problems requires intelligence, willpower and inner peace.

These are simple yet serious ideas.  Interestingly, the Dalai Lama is not a formal, serious man.  He is so down to earth, laughing easily, telling funny stories, encouraging everyone to be happy and be themselves – he is a lovely man.

He came to New Orleans with a group of monks.  There was a big conference and the monks created a very elaborate and very temporary sand mandala.  I never got a great look at the mandala– my timing was bad– but I did make it to the ceremony at the Mississippi River where the monks poured some of the sand into the river.  They also handed out tiny bags of the sand – for “healing and enlightenment”.

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I haven’t done anything with the sand yet.  I haven’t done anything with a lot of things.  My head swims daily with the long list of undone tasks (like blogging (!), sending newsletters, updating calendars, keeping up with social media, addressing details around a brand new website, announcing cool offerings that I’m cooking up…)  Seems I’m short at times on willpower and that’s cutting into my inner peace.

However, in the past weeks, I have prioritized time to grieve.  I’ve kept all my appointments and attended/hosted all the events that were already scheduled.  I went off for a delicious week of hiking in the woods on the Appalachian Trail (more about that later.) I am meditating every day, 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night. I have a daily writing practice.  Plenty of other stuff happens too – just like it probably does in your life.

Some day I’ll get straight between what I actually do and what I perceive is possible to do in a day. And then I’ll have that elusive inner peace.  I’m learning to let myself feel it anyway, even when I haven’t accomplished everything I’ve imagined I would.  The city is so green and there are flowers blooming everywhere.  I stop to admire them on walks to the bank and the library.  I breathe.  The world is too beautiful not to be grateful, completed calendar or not.

IMG_4406And I have a feeling the Dalai Lama isn’t worried about my to do list.  He’s probably much more interested in the development of my compassion, starting with compassion toward myself. I teach this to my clients and I re-learn it nearly daily.

How about you?  Is there room for you to offer some more compassion for yourself, some forgiveness, some time to calm your mind? To take a couple of breaths, go outside, admire the flowers – marvel at being alive? Whether or not you’ve accomplished whatever’s on that to-do list?

Maybe I could make a zillion dollars creating little pads of to-do lists with the first ones at the top of each page actually saying things like, “Embrace gratitude.”  “Smell the flowers.”  “Smile.”  “Marvel at being alive.”  With express directions to do and check them off first.  (Now I can add “design, make and market pads” to my to do list, ha!) I do make myself smile! Are you smiling too?  Then we can both check that off! I bet wherever the Dalai Lama is today, he is also smiling and encouraging others to smile. And perhaps we are all one step closer to inner peace.