New space, new energy!

12 Tuesday Mar 2013

Posted by in change, managing space, organizing

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We have a saying in coach-land – your outer world reflects your inner world.  So if you’re feeling stuck, jumbled, overwhelmed or otherwise out of sorts on the inside, there’s often a part of your living space that reflects this.

I see this with clients – they have a breakthrough and then they clean their entire home, or totally change their hair and clothes, or redo their bedroom, or toss all the old Tupperware in their kitchen.  And over the years I’ve seen it with myself.  Things that seemed so important to keep are suddenly needless clutter that is sucking my energy and making my space less livable.

My favorite example of this shifting is my new work space that I’m so in love with I can’t even express it!  I now have a real place to work in my home – dedicated to just that!  The creation of this space has been in process since summer 2008.  That’s when we converted the “junk room”, which was basically like an indoor garage, into a serene space with French doors going out to a brand new deck.

Here’s the transformation in pictures:  Before any changes, this space was a clutter repository and place to store the bicycles, cat food, tools, cleaning supplies and any and all other stuff we didn’t know what to do with.  And it looked like this:

blue roomTalk about blocked energy! Then, when I quit my teaching job in 2008 and began working from home, the space became this – a complete transformation!

bamboo room 1 web DSC00720It was still where we stored the bikes, but there was a fabulous futon where I could work. I was always a person who worked on a couch or on the bed, partly because my “official” desk in our house looked like this – still surrounded by the piles of teaching materials that I hadn’t yet given away, sorted through or chucked.  It was a repository for papers and stuff I didn’t want to deal with.  If you could do an “energy reading” of the space, I’m sure it would read something like BLOCKED, BLOCKED, BLOCKED!  STUCK!  BLECH!!!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIt was the Hoarders nook of the house.  I felt the energy suck from me every time I walked past it.  It didn’t always look as bad as it does in this pic – sometimes the piles were small and there was nothing on the floor, but it was still a place for papers and other junk to go to die.

Interestingly, I’ve had a space like this in my life for as long as I can remember.  My childhood room grew messy fast.  Sometimes I got super-organized and fixed the room up just right, but it quickly deteriorated into paper piles.  The same thing happened in college. I had a place for everything in my little dorm room, but the desk was often the place where the disorder would start.  And I wouldn’t ever sit there to work.  I would work from my bed or couch.

I had a friend in college who teased me about being a witch, because I could take my dorm room from completely wrecked to neat and orderly in about half an hour.  I just didn’t have habits or routines to keep it that way. This continued once I was on my own.  I always had a dysfunctional desk space somewhere, and a whole lotta papers and junk around it.

So what’s changed in the past week or two? Well, finally I have created a place to sit  and work, for real.  I have made a room I already love into a beautiful work space!  I feel all grown up and productive!  And my old desk area where that messy accumulation of papers was?  It’s disappearing.  Nothing will be there soon, so it can be the new storage place for the bikes.

This transformation didn’t happen overnight.  I had images of  beautiful work spaces on my vision board. I began collecting some little items that would eventually decorate the new area, like two ceramic bird candle holders in colors I loved. I just needed something to pull it all together.

Then everything changed with the big catalyst:  A table. My friend Elizabeth gifted me a beautiful round painted oak table that she no longer wanted.  Months before that, I had carted a bookshelf off the street, and added another piece of furniture to hold art supplies and other creative goodies.  But the table shifted everything.  Suddenly I had a place for those ceramic bird candles. And a place to sit and create.  With a view to the hummingbirds and blue jays outside.

Getting rid of the old desk space has shifted the energy in this house in amazing ways.  And having a place to “officially” work, that I LOVE, is making all the difference. I’m excited to sit down and get started, and then put it all away at the end of the day.

Here’s the new space with the French doors open – it’s almost like working outside!

sunshine windowsAnd being a person who loves re-purposing and saving things from landfills and consuming consciously, I love the story of the table before I received it.  Elizabeth rescued it too, from a relative’s porch where it was languishing.  She did the hard work of cleaning and painting it, and used and loved it in her home for years.  And when she was ready to let it go, having rearranged her space (she’s an excellent re-arranger of spaces) she passed it to me.

Want to make space shifts in your own world?  Here are some easy steps.

1. Find a space in your home that you’re currently not happy with.  Imagine that space just as you’d like it – no holds barred.  Cut out images, draw pictures, collect color swatches – just imagine away!

2. On a regular basis – daily or weekly or whatever feels good to you – take away one thing that doesn’t resonate with you in the space. Something that doesn’t belong, that no longer serves you, or that you just don’t like anymore.  Toss it, recycle it, sell it, donate it, relocate it.  Then replace it with something you love.  Or sometimes, just as effective, enjoy the open space of having nothing there! My little ceramic bird candles nested among the clutter for over a year while they waited for their perfect spot – but seeing them there reminded me that eventually I would fix a space for them that was just right! Little by little, one item at a time, you’ll transform your space.

3. If you come from a long line of savers (as I do) be patient with yourself.  Take your time and just keep paying attention.  Something you thought you had to keep a month ago might now be clutter and ready to be released. If you rearrange and toss items more easily, you may be able to speed up the process and make a big change in a weekend!

4. Watch for big items (like my table!) that will catalyze the change and help your vision from step one become your reality!  And when you have a personal breakthrough, note how your space might not reflect the “old you” anymore, and be open to making the new space meet the needs of your new self!

5. If you need to, seek professional help.  Find someone who can help you gain some momentum.  If you’re in the New Orleans area, try Stasia with Clear the Clutter – she comes highly recommended!

I’d love to hear your stories of shifting space and energy in your home or work space.  What have you done to create a space you love?

One year in the life of an entrepreneur – woo, work, and moving “any amount”

07 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by in celebration, creativity, goal setting, gratitude, vison

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bent spoonWow.  Just about a year ago, I completed my coach training. The official date was February 29.   That morning, I bent a spoon that I thought was unbendable.  Not with my mind, with my hands, but it still felt like a feat.   (Spoon bending is kind of woo-woo and my science teacher side thinks it’s ridiculous and a little hoax-y, but when I was able to bend a spoon that I had never been able to bend before on the final day of my coach training program, some woo woo part of me thought that was pretty cool. And then it almost immediately went back to being skeptical!)

Since that spoon bending morning, I did a lot.  I coached and coached.  I hosted a book club about Martha Beck’s new book, Finding Your Way in a  Wild New World, my first foray into conference call tele-courses.  I met Martha and over 300 other coaches at an incredible conference in Arizona.  I made stickers with my own Wild and Precious word collage and shared them with everyone. I got certified! I made a beautiful blank journal filled with inspiring quotes and my own photos. I hosted two amazing retreats.  I created a signature local experience called WIGS and WIGS.   I started a Facebook Page.  I started a Meetup group. I coached and coached!  I cleared out boxes and boxes of old papers and flotsam and jetsam from my 16 year science teaching career.  I created a five month course for women planning to hike the Appalachian Trail, and 20 amazing women joined it! I participated in two amazing months-long mastermind experiences with other talented coaches. I coached and coached.  I hosted eighteen wordless walks in the swamp.  I learned how to use programs that let me email pretty newsletters.  I emailed pretty newsletters!  I started using a real online appointment scheduling program.  I got a business banking account and a real business license! I cleared out boxes of old holiday cards and old clothes and other clutter that was lurking in the nooks and crannies of our home.  I read dozens of books about time management, de-cluttering, entrepreneurship, and all kinds of other coach-y stuff.  I created a course about managing money indulgently, and 31 fabulous women signed up!  And all throughout, the coaching and coaching – my clients are incredible and it’s an honor to be by their sides while they transform their lives in big and small ways.

Sometimes I was good about telling people what I was doing, sometimes I kind of flew under the radar, sharing mostly with friends and family, wondering who else would be interested, or just being a little too scared to be “out there.”  But the more I go ahead and sing what I do from the rooftops, the more wonderful opportunities, gifts and amazing experiences come my way!  So I’m learning to be braver.

This entrepreneurship stuff – it’s wild.  Even when you surround yourself with people supporting and guiding you who’ve built incredible businesses, you still have to take your own steps, every day.  No one’s going to do it for you, and no one’s going to fire you if you don’t do it.  You’re suddenly only responsible to yourself, and that’s a very interesting challenge!

So I learned to do something “any amount.” When my yoga teacher is trying to help us correct our form in a pose, she asks us to make a small change with our bodies.  She says things like, “Bring your right hip up any amount.” or “Spread your collar bones any amount.” or “Lengthen your left torso any amount.” Her message is that any incremental shift is valuable – we don’t have to be perfect in our poses, but our awareness of where we’re headed helps us move toward our goals, even when we can’t quite perceive the body part moving at all.

That’s how I’ve felt about this whole year.  I’ve been making shifts, trying things, moving this here and that there, any amount.  My posture might not be perfect, but I’m showing up.  And I’ve gained so much from my efforts, even when they’re not quite “right”.

Could I have done more this year?  Yes.  Could I have grown more quickly?  Yes.  Could I have been more focused, less inclined to nap, more consistent about blogging, sharing, communicating, planning, being strategic, less inclined to meet a friend, go for a walk, sit in the grass?  Yes. Could I have fixed the thousand things I can’t stand about how this website is right now instead of taking the time to shop for and cook yummy local food, or curl up with a cat and a book, or climb into the tub, or go for a bike ride with my sweetheart?  Yes.

But there’s the trick.  While building this business, I’m also doing my best to live my one wild and precious life.  To take a week off to go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  Another couple of weeks off to explore the mountains of Colorado.  A week on the beach in Florida. All year I’ve taken enough time to sleep well, nearly every night. I listen to my body, and I haven’t been sick a single day!

Sure, I’ve wasted my share of time.   I’ve watched way too many cat videos, read too many comments on articles I was only marginally interested in, watched too many Cake Bosses and 30 Rocks and Parks and Recreations on Netflix streaming.  I can avoid my work with the best of them, even after reading every Steven Pressfield book out there.

Nevertheless, overall it’s felt like a year of miracles, especially when I’ve embraced the “woo” side and let the magic happen.  Wise owls appeared.  I spontaneously got to go see Madonna after putting her on my vision board. I created things, put them out in the world, and people signed up! Overall I’ve been challenged, inspired, and happy.

And here’s what I’ve learned, boiled way down:

Four things to remember when you’re working on something big:
1. Once you can envision it, it’s really possible!  But you have to be able to picture it first. That’s where vision boarding, writing and dreaming really help.
2. Start taking the steps.  Turtle steps.  Do anything.  Any amount.  And keep repeating.
3. Let yourself freak out, take a break, avoid, nap, temporarily run away.  It’s ok.  Just come back to it when you’re ready and start again. And try not to worry.
4. Embrace the woo.  Magic really is available to you. Look for it in the simplest things. Find it in nature, or in your imagination. Abandon your inner skeptic occasionally and let the unicorns prance around in your head a little.  Bend a spoon or two!

I’d love to hear what you do to keep the momentum going with a big undertaking, a new project, or exciting endeavor.  Share what’s working for you in the comments!

A Gregorian New Year’s post – complete with manatees!

14 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by in being present, savoring

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Yes! You’re in luck!  The new year just started according to the Gregorian calendar, so today was Orthodox New Year’s Day!  So if you were ready to give up and start again next year, don’t despair!  You can start now!  Or re-start now!

I don’t know about you but I sometimes feel a little panicky right about mid-month in January.  What have I accomplished?  Am I on track to make 2013 the best year yet?  All of that ridiculous pressure-y stuff.

Then I remember my words for the year.  And I feel soo much better!  A lot of people, especially my coaching colleagues, pick a word or phrase for each year.  They distill their vision for the year down super small, small enough to fit on a Post-it, or to be embroidered on a tea towel, or carved in a pretty block of wood to be used as a door stop.  (I’m actually not sure anyone embroiders or carves their word or phrase of the year, but you get what I’m saying.)  So, while I was away with the dolphins and pelicans and bald eagles at the barrier island over New Year’s (the first New Year’s) I came up with my three words.

Every time I think of them I relax.  And I smile, and everything feels fabulous.  My three words are breathe, laugh and connect.  That’s what I’m doing in 2013.  No building, no striving, no pushing.  I may build something, I may push a little – heck, I may even strive.  But that’s not the main idea for 2013.  It’s to breathe.  Because breathing brings me into the present moment and that’s a fantastic place to be.  It’s to laugh.  Because, really, without laughter, what exactly is the point?  It’s to connect.  Because living is even richer when it includes sharing, fellowship and camaraderie with others. And with our most true selves.

Once I had my words of the year I decided to find out my animal totem of the year.  I used the amazing Sarah Seidelman’s What the Walrus Knows app – one of my favorite ways to gain a little insight.  I let the application do the divining, and guess what my Beastie, as Sarah calls them, is?  It’s perfect!  It’s the manatee!  I bet it’s in the manatee code to spend time breathing, laughing (however manatees do that – they certainly appear to be smiling!) and connecting.

And speaking of manatees, have you seen the calming manatee website? Click for a manatee and a calming message.  Everyone can use a calming manatee sometimes…

So please don’t despair, midway through January!  There’s plenty of time!  And feel free to take my words and use them yourself this year.  I wonder what the world would be like if all of us prioritized breathing, laughing, and connecting along with all of our other pressing to-dos…

Buster has the breathing part down…

buster 1

Or if you have a word or phrase for yourself I’d love to hear it!  How is your new year going?  Email me or post your thoughts in the comments!

Five ways I stopped letting money get in the way

03 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in making change, managing money, managing worry

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I run into this situation with clients somewhat regularly.  Something having to do with money is the obstacle keeping them from truly living the wild and precious lives they want. There’s not enough money, they have a giant mortgage, moving to the place of their dreams (often near water) or going back to school would cost too much, etc., etc.

Of course, there are plenty of facts to support their concerns.  Some clients have some kind of major debt on top of everything else.  And while I wish I did, I don’t have a magic wand to wave around to make debt disappear, replaced by giant cartoon bags of money with dollar signs on the outside!  (That would be cool, wouldn’t it?)

What I can offer are some tools to turn the whole money puzzle around. About ten years ago, I figured out what to do over a series of years and months. A “perfect storm” of books and resources all seemingly magically showed up at about the same time, and I was ready to dive into their wisdom.

Years later, here are the five biggest takeaways that I’ve figured out that made a difference for us.  They might do the same for you!

1. Pay attention.  Most spending that we’re sorry about later happens when we purposefully stop paying attention.  We really don’t want to know.  Have you ever taken a receipt for a meal or an outfit or a cart of groceries and not even looked at it? Either tossed it away or shoved it back into your wallet?  Have you said aloud or to yourself, “I don’t even want to know how much that cost.”  Well, there you have it.  Like a scientist doing an experiment, you have to start paying attention to the data and collecting some information, or you’ll have no idea what’s happening and you can’t make a conclusion or analyze your results, or make changes that will work better for you in the future.

2. Stop trying to impress people.  I know, I know. You think you don’t do this.  You’re a well-rounded person who makes choices based upon what you want.  You don’t care a bit what other people think. Well, perhaps your evolved self doesn’t care, but I can almost guarantee there’s at least  some very tiny part of your brain that’s keeping a pretty interesting tally of where you fit in a never-ending comparison game with others.  With their cars, or their homes, or their vacations.  Or the quality and value of their holiday gifts.  Once you really figure out what you want and get off the status hamster wheel to nowhere, you might be really surprised at the number of cartoon money bags accumulating around your feet!

3. Avoid “budgeting”. Setting up budgets and deprivational systems that don’t take into account the surprise root canal or cat vet emergency or hole in the roof or sink that won’t drain or stolen bicycle or car that died completely – these systems are almost always doomed to fail.  (By the way, all the examples above happened to us in the past eight months!  They will really put a wrench into any budget, let me tell  you!)  There are other great options (see #1 above) that will work just as well as budgeting and won’t make you feel like you’ve failed when the unexpected expenses for the month add up to more than you’d budgeted for all of your food and incidentals combined.

4. Make it a game.  Solving your money issues is so much more effective when you can have fun while doing it!  Contests with yourself or family members, charts, challenges, stickers – you’d be surprised how well these types of methods will work. How much fun can you have with just $5?  Try that one today!

5. Figure out what’s enough for you.  You have to master #2 to really pull this one off.  This is my favorite and most important step and it will completely turn around your money situation.  Figuring out what’s enough seems so simple, but you have to realize that there are outside forces all around you sending messages of lack and need, creating wants you didn’t even know you had.  It’s called advertising, and no matter how smart you are, it works.  On you.

These are just a few of the things we’ve learned (you can see they’re common sense and don’t involve anything creepy or complicated like a pyramid scheme or buying foreclosed properties.)  And we have no debt whatsoever.  Even our house is paid for.  We have enough liquid to live on for a year or more if we really needed to.  We have retirement funds.  We have a really happy life with plenty of trips and vacations (This year, a conference in Arizona, hiking on the AT for a week, three different beach trips, a mastermind coach weekend, a road trip to the mountains of Colorado, a trip to see family in Baltimore, a fall camping trip, and a New Orleans staycation getaway!) Our fridge is full of delicious and indulgent food.  You get the picture.

And we did this with a very moderate amount coming in – at first two teachers’ salaries and now just one teacher salary and one entrepreneur income.  You don’t need to be making six figures or even half that to transform your relationship with money.

indulgent path to money management!If this sounds intriguing to you, I’d love for you to join my five session telecourse, The Indulgent Path to Money Management,  that starts at the end of January.  All the details are here, and it’s a true bargain because I want anyone to be able to attend!  I’m also offering a free Q&A call on January 15. The call will be recorded so you can hear it even if you can’t attend. Go check out the details and sign up at the bottom of the page for the free call and for scholarship information!