Category Archives: celebration

Savoring Summer

19 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by in being present, celebration, savoring

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Every year, when I think about summer, I notice this big competition in my brain. On the one hand, I picture all the good stuff from my childhood – a blank expanse of days to do with what I want, run around in the sprinkler, go to the pool, eat popsicles, ride bikes until it’s too dark to see, read endlessly without interruption, and go camping!  On the other hand, the adult part of my brain stacks up a bunch of projects and tasks that are going to get done “this summer”. Like my brand new website.  And cool programs I’m working on.  And lots of writing.  And house renovation stuff.  The list can get pretty long.  And worrying about or avoiding what’s on the “adult” list or slogging through too many projects in one day both can cut into my ability to enjoy the fun stuff.  If I’ve worked all day I’m resentful that there wasn’t some lovely pool time, and if I’ve avoided or worried instead, maybe “sneaking” some fun in like a marathon reading session of a book I can’t put down, then I’m also kind of miserable, because I didn’t do my work.

This summer I’ve decided to change things up.  The first thing I realized I needed to change were my unreasonable expectations about what I can actually accomplish in a summer. Summer is not infinite, even though it seemed that way in early June back when we were seven years old.   The other thing I realized is that I was tired of not enjoying the “fun” things because I was only half there, the other half of me worrying about the big projects that were sitting untouched.  So I decided to get gentle with myself.  I sat down and created a beautiful vision board for summer with lots of relaxing pinks and blues, and words like “gentle”, “short and sweet”, “easy” and “celebrate”.

IMG_4071I decided to prioritize a couple of extra-fun things for myself.  I’m studying French!  I’m practicing French every day, something completely new to me, and it is such FUN! I’m also making sure there are plenty of excursions, big and small, this summer. About two days after I made this board, I headed out on the Appalachian Trail for a week, and look at what I saw on the first day!

IMG_4123It’s like my vision board came to life before my eyes, with the exact same colors.  The woods were full of pink rhododendrons and fluffy white mountain laurel.  The clouds and sky were lavender and blue.  Truly magical.

Oh, and the couple of big projects like my website and programs?  Now that I’ve given myself some space and permission to have some real and unobstructed fun, they’re happening too, in a reasonable and happy way.  Free (mostly) of angst. I know – it sounds kind of pie in the sky. But it’s amazing how some tiny mental shifts can make such a difference.

pie in the sky squareIf you’re in a similar boat and want a little more help getting your summer straight and having it be a tasty mix of fun and getting stuff done, you’re invited to my one hour class called Pie in the Sky!  It’s on Tuesday, June 25, 7:30 p.m. Central, on the phone (recorded if you can’t make it live), and it’s going to be fabulous!  Pie recipes will be included!  We’ll figure out how you can savor your summer instead of slog through it, while still getting some major stuff accomplished. Details and sign up here. Come join if it feels delicious!

Lessons from the Dalai Lama

11 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by in celebration, gratitude, peace

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You know, I put him on my vision board last summer – and then he came to New Orleans this spring and I got to go see him!  That makes me two for two with vision board celebs – Madonna and His Holiness.

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In honor of the visit from the Dalai Lama, the city draped itself in Tibetan prayer flags.  They are hanging, large and small, in long rows and tucked in tiny corners everywhere – over shops, homes, along power lines.  They are beautiful and hopeful and I love that people are keeping them up well after his visit.  We have them hung over our porch and I’m in no hurry to take them down.  I think in Tibet they stay up until they disintegrate.

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Here’s the good stuff I gathered from his talk:

The way to control violence is to control hatred and increase forgiveness and tolerance.

Our individual futures depend on community. We must think as a community– as a global community.

A calm mind is very important.

When you have affection and compassion, you’re happy, regardless of social standing.

Our problems do not stem from lack of education or lack of money, but from lack of inner peace.

Solving the world’s problems requires intelligence, willpower and inner peace.

These are simple yet serious ideas.  Interestingly, the Dalai Lama is not a formal, serious man.  He is so down to earth, laughing easily, telling funny stories, encouraging everyone to be happy and be themselves – he is a lovely man.

He came to New Orleans with a group of monks.  There was a big conference and the monks created a very elaborate and very temporary sand mandala.  I never got a great look at the mandala– my timing was bad– but I did make it to the ceremony at the Mississippi River where the monks poured some of the sand into the river.  They also handed out tiny bags of the sand – for “healing and enlightenment”.

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I haven’t done anything with the sand yet.  I haven’t done anything with a lot of things.  My head swims daily with the long list of undone tasks (like blogging (!), sending newsletters, updating calendars, keeping up with social media, addressing details around a brand new website, announcing cool offerings that I’m cooking up…)  Seems I’m short at times on willpower and that’s cutting into my inner peace.

However, in the past weeks, I have prioritized time to grieve.  I’ve kept all my appointments and attended/hosted all the events that were already scheduled.  I went off for a delicious week of hiking in the woods on the Appalachian Trail (more about that later.) I am meditating every day, 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night. I have a daily writing practice.  Plenty of other stuff happens too – just like it probably does in your life.

Some day I’ll get straight between what I actually do and what I perceive is possible to do in a day. And then I’ll have that elusive inner peace.  I’m learning to let myself feel it anyway, even when I haven’t accomplished everything I’ve imagined I would.  The city is so green and there are flowers blooming everywhere.  I stop to admire them on walks to the bank and the library.  I breathe.  The world is too beautiful not to be grateful, completed calendar or not.

IMG_4406And I have a feeling the Dalai Lama isn’t worried about my to do list.  He’s probably much more interested in the development of my compassion, starting with compassion toward myself. I teach this to my clients and I re-learn it nearly daily.

How about you?  Is there room for you to offer some more compassion for yourself, some forgiveness, some time to calm your mind? To take a couple of breaths, go outside, admire the flowers – marvel at being alive? Whether or not you’ve accomplished whatever’s on that to-do list?

Maybe I could make a zillion dollars creating little pads of to-do lists with the first ones at the top of each page actually saying things like, “Embrace gratitude.”  “Smell the flowers.”  “Smile.”  “Marvel at being alive.”  With express directions to do and check them off first.  (Now I can add “design, make and market pads” to my to do list, ha!) I do make myself smile! Are you smiling too?  Then we can both check that off! I bet wherever the Dalai Lama is today, he is also smiling and encouraging others to smile. And perhaps we are all one step closer to inner peace.

One year in the life of an entrepreneur – woo, work, and moving “any amount”

07 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by in celebration, creativity, goal setting, gratitude, vison

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bent spoonWow.  Just about a year ago, I completed my coach training. The official date was February 29.   That morning, I bent a spoon that I thought was unbendable.  Not with my mind, with my hands, but it still felt like a feat.   (Spoon bending is kind of woo-woo and my science teacher side thinks it’s ridiculous and a little hoax-y, but when I was able to bend a spoon that I had never been able to bend before on the final day of my coach training program, some woo woo part of me thought that was pretty cool. And then it almost immediately went back to being skeptical!)

Since that spoon bending morning, I did a lot.  I coached and coached.  I hosted a book club about Martha Beck’s new book, Finding Your Way in a  Wild New World, my first foray into conference call tele-courses.  I met Martha and over 300 other coaches at an incredible conference in Arizona.  I made stickers with my own Wild and Precious word collage and shared them with everyone. I got certified! I made a beautiful blank journal filled with inspiring quotes and my own photos. I hosted two amazing retreats.  I created a signature local experience called WIGS and WIGS.   I started a Facebook Page.  I started a Meetup group. I coached and coached!  I cleared out boxes and boxes of old papers and flotsam and jetsam from my 16 year science teaching career.  I created a five month course for women planning to hike the Appalachian Trail, and 20 amazing women joined it! I participated in two amazing months-long mastermind experiences with other talented coaches. I coached and coached.  I hosted eighteen wordless walks in the swamp.  I learned how to use programs that let me email pretty newsletters.  I emailed pretty newsletters!  I started using a real online appointment scheduling program.  I got a business banking account and a real business license! I cleared out boxes of old holiday cards and old clothes and other clutter that was lurking in the nooks and crannies of our home.  I read dozens of books about time management, de-cluttering, entrepreneurship, and all kinds of other coach-y stuff.  I created a course about managing money indulgently, and 31 fabulous women signed up!  And all throughout, the coaching and coaching – my clients are incredible and it’s an honor to be by their sides while they transform their lives in big and small ways.

Sometimes I was good about telling people what I was doing, sometimes I kind of flew under the radar, sharing mostly with friends and family, wondering who else would be interested, or just being a little too scared to be “out there.”  But the more I go ahead and sing what I do from the rooftops, the more wonderful opportunities, gifts and amazing experiences come my way!  So I’m learning to be braver.

This entrepreneurship stuff – it’s wild.  Even when you surround yourself with people supporting and guiding you who’ve built incredible businesses, you still have to take your own steps, every day.  No one’s going to do it for you, and no one’s going to fire you if you don’t do it.  You’re suddenly only responsible to yourself, and that’s a very interesting challenge!

So I learned to do something “any amount.” When my yoga teacher is trying to help us correct our form in a pose, she asks us to make a small change with our bodies.  She says things like, “Bring your right hip up any amount.” or “Spread your collar bones any amount.” or “Lengthen your left torso any amount.” Her message is that any incremental shift is valuable – we don’t have to be perfect in our poses, but our awareness of where we’re headed helps us move toward our goals, even when we can’t quite perceive the body part moving at all.

That’s how I’ve felt about this whole year.  I’ve been making shifts, trying things, moving this here and that there, any amount.  My posture might not be perfect, but I’m showing up.  And I’ve gained so much from my efforts, even when they’re not quite “right”.

Could I have done more this year?  Yes.  Could I have grown more quickly?  Yes.  Could I have been more focused, less inclined to nap, more consistent about blogging, sharing, communicating, planning, being strategic, less inclined to meet a friend, go for a walk, sit in the grass?  Yes. Could I have fixed the thousand things I can’t stand about how this website is right now instead of taking the time to shop for and cook yummy local food, or curl up with a cat and a book, or climb into the tub, or go for a bike ride with my sweetheart?  Yes.

But there’s the trick.  While building this business, I’m also doing my best to live my one wild and precious life.  To take a week off to go hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  Another couple of weeks off to explore the mountains of Colorado.  A week on the beach in Florida. All year I’ve taken enough time to sleep well, nearly every night. I listen to my body, and I haven’t been sick a single day!

Sure, I’ve wasted my share of time.   I’ve watched way too many cat videos, read too many comments on articles I was only marginally interested in, watched too many Cake Bosses and 30 Rocks and Parks and Recreations on Netflix streaming.  I can avoid my work with the best of them, even after reading every Steven Pressfield book out there.

Nevertheless, overall it’s felt like a year of miracles, especially when I’ve embraced the “woo” side and let the magic happen.  Wise owls appeared.  I spontaneously got to go see Madonna after putting her on my vision board. I created things, put them out in the world, and people signed up! Overall I’ve been challenged, inspired, and happy.

And here’s what I’ve learned, boiled way down:

Four things to remember when you’re working on something big:
1. Once you can envision it, it’s really possible!  But you have to be able to picture it first. That’s where vision boarding, writing and dreaming really help.
2. Start taking the steps.  Turtle steps.  Do anything.  Any amount.  And keep repeating.
3. Let yourself freak out, take a break, avoid, nap, temporarily run away.  It’s ok.  Just come back to it when you’re ready and start again. And try not to worry.
4. Embrace the woo.  Magic really is available to you. Look for it in the simplest things. Find it in nature, or in your imagination. Abandon your inner skeptic occasionally and let the unicorns prance around in your head a little.  Bend a spoon or two!

I’d love to hear what you do to keep the momentum going with a big undertaking, a new project, or exciting endeavor.  Share what’s working for you in the comments!

Chilling about the Holidays: Avoiding “Holiday Porn”

26 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by in celebration, savoring

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Holiday decorations, traditions, activities. Depending on how you approach it, it can all be a little overwhelming, especially if you’re susceptible to the enticement of “holiday porn”. But it doesn’t have to be that way!  Here’s how to notice and avoid the trap of “holiday porn” and stay chill about the holidays!

You know how you’ll page through magazines, scroll through Pinterest, glance at a window display or even go to someone else’s house and see holiday decorations that kind of make you swoon?  And you imagine yourself maybe, in some other plane or universe, doing something like that in your own space?  And then the reality hits of what you really do for the holidays.

Those picture-perfect images?  They’re what I like to refer to as “holiday porn.”  I use the word “porn” like people use it when they say “food porn”.  In this case, “porn” involves images depicting something ultra-idealized – not necessarily very realistic – even if it might be possible to recreate what’s in the image.  Ultimately, when you get right down to it, it’s not what you want in “real life.”

What’s interesting is that one person’s “holiday porn” is another person’s “just right, very realistic” reality.  And that’s fine! The trick is knowing the difference, and knowing what you really want.  Amazingly, you can go to your body to get the answers.  If the image or idea feels open and refreshing, fun and interesting, and you feel light and happy thinking about decorating that way or making that project, then go for it!  If it feels tense and overwhelming and your body feels like it’s closing up and retreating, and you feel that tightness in your chest or jaw when you picture trying to accomplish whatever you see in the photo or the display, then it’s probably not your best choice.

What if you look at a magazine image and love it, love it, love it, but know that in reality it’s just not going to happen?  Look closely.  What speaks to you in the image?  What do you really love?  What’s the feeling you get looking at the picture?  Turns out that what you really want is the feeling state.  Think about something realistic for you that will give you the feeling state you’re looking for.  If you see a picture of an immaculately decorated Christmas tree in front of a roaring fire and it gives you a feeling of coziness, but you don’t have a fireplace and your tree was decorated by your two-year old, or you live in graduate housing and don’t have a tree and will be traveling over the holidays, or there’s some other reason that the image isn’t your reality, then consider what does make sense for you to get that feeling of coziness.  Hot chocolate at your favorite coffee shop with a friend?  Curling up with your three dogs under a blanket and listening to Christmas carols while you write letters to your far-flung family members?  There are lots of ways to feel cozy.  Find the one that works for you!

Here’s a recent example of “holiday porn” and “holiday not so porn” for me.  Remember – it’s going to be different for everyone.  Interestingly, both of these ideas are from Martha Stewart, everyone’s favorite “holiday porn” queen!   The first one was pretty to look at but an “absolute no” for me.  It’s not that complicated, but it’s just not floating my boat, and the image to me is also stark, a little lonely – no people! – and way too perfect.  This gingerbread house isn’t gonna get made by me any time soon.  To me, gingerbread houses should be full of candy and made by kids, like the real ones I see friends posting on Facebook.  Or if they make you crazy, they should be skipped altogether!

In an earlier issue of Martha’s magazine, I saw these cute little peanut butter and chocolate acorns and thought, “I could do them!  That would be fun!”  And so while I was vacationing at the beach with friends over Thanksgiving, I did just that.  I don’t think Martha was picturing me sitting on the floor in my hotel room, watching TV while I made the little acorns, but it worked great for me!

They came out so cute and we all had a great time devouring them!

Is it “holiday porn” or not?  Only you can decide.  Listen to yourself, notice how you feel, and choose holiday activities, decorations, and events that make you feel good, not ones that create a reality you’re not even interested in!

And remember, your feelings are allowed to change.  Just because you used to love  decorating six trees and making a miniature winter wonderland in the front yard for the past seventeen years doesn’t mean you have to do that this year.  Traditions are tricky – listen to yourself and decide what you really, really want.  Holidays are meant to be savored, not slogged through.

How about you?  How do you stay chill through the holidays and avoid “holiday porn”?  What do you love most about the holidays?  What’s your favorite tradition?

WIGS and WIGS!

24 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by in celebration, goal setting

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What do you get when you mix a group of smart amazing women in fabulous wigs , a great venue with scores of wines to sample, a bunch of magazines at the ready for vision boarding, a limo and a club playing exclusively 80s music?  You get WIGS and WIGS night!

I’m not sure exactly when I dreamed up this night.  I imagined the whole thing in my head months ago. And then last week I manifested it in the flesh with a bunch of fantastic girlfriends.

In the land of coaching, WIGS are Wildly Improbable Goals – those ones you would love to achieve but they seem like almost too much to ask – like relocating to Italy, or hiking the Appalachian trail, or writing an Oscar-winning screenplay, or just whatever you want that you don’t have yet and it seems like it might be kind of complicated to do it or get it.

One way to articulate your WIGS is to create a vision board – a bunch of words and images that represent your goal and the feeling state you’ll have when you accomplish it.  And when I learned that these goals were called WIGS, I just imagined in my head a bunch of women in wigs working on vision boards of their WIGS and then going out 80s dancing – because part of the fun of making vision boards is to release attachment to the outcome, and what better way to do this than go out dancing to Madonna, Duran Duran, Talking Heads and Michael Jackson?  Oh, and did I mention the limo?

We started the evening at W.I.N.O – the Wine Institute of New Orleans.  I love this place because it’s self-serve wine tasting – you use a card to sample tastes of wine in specially climate-controlled dispensers – it’s like wine vending machines!

We chatted and ate and made our vision boards, then hopped in the limo, shared our goals, toasted with champagne and headed out to dance at One Eyed Jack’s, where they have an excellent DJ and dancers and they screen 80s movies and videos all night long. And oh my goodness, did we dance!  What is it about music from the 1980s?

We had such a fabulous time- and I’ll be doing WIGS and WIGS nights again, plus more cool, creative events to help us all live our wild and precious lives.  If you’re a woman living in the New Orleans area and want to make sure you don’t miss out on the fun, sign up here and I’ll put you on a special NOLA email list to keep you posted about upcoming exciting, relaxing, rejuvenating and fabulous events I dream up! (And of course I will not share your email or do anything spammy.)

I love living my wild and precious life by taking beautiful walks in nature, and I also love living it by dancing the night away! What have you been doing lately to live your wild and precious life?