Category Archives: gratitude

Enough – why’s it so hard?

12 Sunday Aug 2012

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This question dogs me on a regular basis.  How can we be so rich, have so much – so much! – and still feel like there’s not enough?  Is is because we see and read about others who have so much more? Certainly there are many others who have so much less.

I look around our (comparatively modest) home and it’s full of magical things – things most humans throughout history, no matter how rich, didn’t have.  A way to send photos and words – and voices and video! – around the world.  A way to find the answer to almost any question I have.  Hot running water.  Art supplies. Warm and cozy clothes.  Fun clothes.  Plenty of clothes.  Food.  Chocolate.  Wine.  Multiple kinds of fresh fruits and veggies.  More than enough delicious food. My home even has a fellow human who is my dearest friend, confidante and sweetheart, plus two unbelievably cute and cuddly cats.  When it’s cold outside, we can make the inside warm.  When it’s hot outside we can make the place cool.  We have grass and trees and flowers and a little deck.  We have things to read.  And streaming music and movies – any entertainment we could want at the click of a button!  We have meaningful work, and all kinds of ways to connect and celebrate and socialize with others.

I’ve been reading The Gift of Imperfection by Brené Brown, and she mentions in one part that many of us wake up and our first thought is about not enough.  We didn’t get enough sleep.  We don’t have enough time.  Something else about our situation is not good enough.  We are not good enough.

That’s a rough way to wake up – and believe me, I’ve done it plenty.

Recently though, as part of my newest 30 day challenge, I’m writing super-positively every morning.  And it’s surprisingly easy to do – there’s a lot to be positive about!  It’s amazing how great I feel after doing this.  It’s not about making stuff up.  There is so much to be positive about every day – every moment.  Today during my grass time I stared at the sky. (yep, I still do grass time – it’s something I look forward to every day!) It was so beautiful.  White puffy clouds drifting along a blue, blue backdrop.

True, I am usually a “glass half full” kinda girl.  But why not?  I enjoy celebrating that I have enough.  Of everything.  In fact I have more than enough.  I have an abundance!  Of beauty, of love, of delicious food, of pretty soaps in the bathroom.  I have enough time.  I can arrange my life so I have enough sleep.

And most importantly, no matter what I “get done” or don’t get done every day, I am enough.  That feels lovely and peaceful.

How do you remind yourself where you have enough, or an abundance, in your life?  How does it change your state of mind when you look for the places where you have enough or more than enough? How are you, just as you are, enough?

30 Day Challenge – Day 23 – avoiding burnout

31 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by in 30 Day Challenge, creativity, gratitude, rest

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It’s funny, right now everything I chose for my 30 Day Challenge is going swimmingly.   I adore my morning grass time. Today the angel’s trumpet is full of blooms.

There’s nary a stray paper in sight because I spend ten minutes a day corralling the papers so they’re not allowed to reproduce.

I’m still so happy to sit with my sketchbook and my super-smooth oil pastels and play on paper. Today I started a portrait of the sweet turtle who lives in the yard. Here’s the progress:

But aside from that, I’m bushed.  I could press on and keep working, continuing to ignore my body, leading eventually to a lot more resistance and maybe even illness, and definitely some stress breakouts, or I can go rest.  I’m opting for rest.  I didn’t make all these great changes to my life to keep playing the burnout game.

Do you still play the burnout game?  Do you kind of give yourself a break but not really, so that all the pushing and pushing eventually adds up complete body breakdown?  Or are you beginning to listen – to realize that your life is made up of minutes and hours, and how you spend those minutes and hours is how you spend your life?  And that spending minutes and hours pushing and being stressed and harried means living a stressed, harried life?

I’m going to go rest.  And all is well.

30 Day Challenge – Day 20 and 21 – Listen to your Soul, Rest and Play

29 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by in 30 Day Challenge, gratitude, hiking, nature, oneness

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I just spent two days and nights away on retreat.  Even though I was the host and facilitator, I had plenty of time to soak in the rejuvenating power of nature and really hear my soul speak.  She said something like this – it was telepathic so not exactly these words, but this was the feeling: “There’s abundance.  There’s always enough.  The world is full of riches and pure delight, laying them at your feet.  Love is all around you.”  She was so calm, so shining, so bright.  And I don’t think she was talking about material riches, like gold or diamonds.  It was much more about the abundance of beauty and life and love all around me.  So much to appreciate.

Would you like to hear your soul?  All you have to do is close your eyes and imagine your soul coming out of your body and manifesting itself in a way you can visualize – maybe a person, maybe a glowing light, maybe an animal  – it could be anything.  Then feel its wisdom, its pure love, its complete acceptance of you.  Feel it wash over you. Then hear what it has to tell you, as it sits or stands or floats before you.  Listen to its message, then let it come back into your body in whatever way it does – maybe straight to your heart, maybe through the top of your head, or some other way.  Then feel yourself fill up with the love and wisdom of your soul, and open your eyes and see the world from the point of view of your soul.  This is a beautiful visualization to practice over and over.  It’s one of my favorites, both for when I’m feeling stressed and when I’m feeling peaceful.

What I love about retreats like this is that it was a weekend dedicated to pure rest and play. We had lots of time alone to rest and reflect, and time together to process, share and hike and explore in nature.  I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow, but here’s one of my favorite photos from the weekend:

I’ve been drawing too – I missed my drawing time on Friday, but that’s ok – I picked up again Saturday and today.  I sat inside the small gazebo on the gorgeous grounds of the B&B where we stayed and drew the view through the lattice.

And today I played with the message from my soul, and with a somewhat green version of my wild and precious tree. Quick play sketches.

How are you?  What has your soul had to tell you lately?  What feels like rest and play to you right now?

Message me or let me know in the comments!

30 Day Challenge- Day 5: gratitude

13 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by in 30 Day Challenge, gratitude, making change, managing time

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No drawings to share today.  I did draw, and I’m still enjoying it, but the current drawing’s in process and possibly a bit disastrous.  No worries- disastrous or not, it’s soothing.  I put on Pandora to a nice calming station with a lot of Enya and Brian Eno and Hillary Stagg and Andreas Vollenweider, I set the timer and I draw.  I’m happy that I gave myself that gift again today, and I’m a little in awe that I’m going to continue to do that for twenty-five more days!

I’m still enjoying grass time.  I had a bunch of meetings and calls this morning, so grass time happened in the late afternoon during a sun shower.  Glorious.  My sweetheart surprised me and snapped this pic- sadly, you can’t see the light rain.

If you’ve missed it and want to know more about why grass time is so important to me, check out this recent post.

Part of my grass time routine is to read a an entry a day from Simple Abundance – and look what was included in today’s piece:

“Please steal time every day, if you cannot find it in any other way, to lie on the grass, or in a hammock, under a huge tree this lovely month… and relax.  What a tonic this is for the soul!  What a rest for weary nerves!… The greatest need today is for calmer homes…” This was written by Nell B. Nichols way back in 1924.  Wow – still holds true today, don’t you think?

I’m still reading Martha Beck’s Four Day Win and applying it to my days – thus the decision to gift myself with creative play for my 30 day challenge instead of making another rule about managing my time – I have to believe that I will really give myself time to enjoy daily play before I ever get my head out of the “famine brain” concept of getting things done.

And it’s working!  Here’s an example.  Normally I put off going to the post office or bank for as long as possible. I’ve been known to show up at the bank with a month and a half of checks.  And these are deposits!  Crazy, I know!  I don’t know why my nutty brain associates errands with some kind of apocalypse – as if it’s going to take more than ten minutes to go to the bank.  Or even the post office!  My mind can start acting as if I’m about to plan an Everest expedition.

Now, since I’m giving myself time to enjoy what I love – to play at drawing with no agenda other than play – I’m filling my emotional coffers with self-compassion and self-love.  And don’t ask me why this works, but from that brain state it’s so much easier to get things done!  And this strategy holds true for weight loss.  Losing weight from a place of lack and punishment doesn’t work well in the long run, and managing tasks and time from a place of lack and a screwy belief that there’s not enough time to get things done and do what you love – that doesn’t work either.

Martha Beck writes, “The opposite of fat is love.”  And I’ll add, “The opposite of clutter and time disorganization is love.”  Martha encourages us to focus on appreciation and gratitude, and watch how it improves our health and well-being, and surprisingly, leads to leaner bodies and more organized homes!

I positively glowed with gratitude today.  I had lovely emails from friends, and some cheering on from a fellow coach. I sat in the grass in a sun shower, and the cat even joined me at the end.  I worked on my business and played.  I was practically floating from all the gratitude on my errands to the post office and bank, and I could feel that lightness spreading to the people around me.  And here’s the cherry on top:  I got an unexpected check in the mail today – from my health insurance company of all places!  Close to $100!  And it’s in the bank, not kicking around in a ten inch high pile of paper clutter!  That’s a lot to be grateful for.

If you’re struggling with something you’re trying to change or improve in your life, see what happens when you make gratitude a daily practice.  Write down what you’re grateful for and why.  See if it starts to make you feel better, lighter, more able to make the change you want to make.  And if you’ve played with gratitude lists in the past but slacked off recently, today is a great day to begin again.  I’d love to hear about your experiences with making gratitude a regular habit!

And here’s one last thing to be grateful for:  purple coneflowers blooming!

The power of story, and an intervention by angels…

21 Thursday Jun 2012

Posted by in angels, gratitude, story, thoughts

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Cadillac Ranch. A cool roadside attraction on our trip west.

Within the first couple hours of our road trip to Colorado earlier this month, we lost a wallet.  Not fun, right?  Here’s what happened.  We stopped at a convenience store just over an hour away from home to grab some soda and juice.  My sweetheart started to give me his wallet to pay, and I said, no – it’s ok – I have mine.

We kept driving.  To Alexandria, Louisiana.  Now about four and a half hours from home.  And we got to the hotel, and my sweetheart said, “Honey, what did you do with my wallet?”  Oh.  No.  My stomach dropped.  Had he handed me his wallet while he went to the bathroom?  What did I do with it?  Did I leave it on the counter? We searched high and low.  In every possible nook and cranny in the car.  We didn’t find it.  It was 10 p.m.

Ok, so I asked myself, what’s perfect about this?  (Very hard in a situation like this, believe me.)  I always start with, “We’re ok.”  Then, “There wasn’t that much money in it.”, Then, “Only one credit card to cancel.”  We got on the phone and took care of that.

Then there was the matter of the driver’s license.  And here the angels intervened.  1. We were still in Louisiana.  2.  We had internet and a laptop to easily search for Motor Vehicle offices.  3.  The office in Alexandria was literally less than a five-minute drive from our hotel! Can’t you hear the angelic choirs singing??

We went there the next day, first thing.  And there wasn’t much of a wait.  (Go, angels!) And they renewed my sweetheart’s license so he won’t have to wait in line in a couple of months in New Orleans.  And then it was done and we were on our way.

“Ok”, you say.  “I get it. Angels intervened. But what about the power of story? Why is that in the title?”  Well, a couple of reasons.  We could have used a lot of energy telling a really different story about this.  About how awful it was.  About how we couldn’t believe that no one had turned in the wallet (we did call the convenience store – amazing that we were able to remember which one and find its number online!) About all the money we’d lost.  About the hassle of changing online accounts to new credit card numbers.  About how stupid I was for leaving the wallet on the counter, or wherever I’d left it.  We could have seen it as a “bad omen” for our whole trip.

But we didn’t.  We had a fantastic trip.  We didn’t even think about it much except that my sweetie had to ask me for my credit card when we’d stop for gas.

And then we came home.  And you will never guess what was on my sweetheart’s desk. Did you guess? You’re right! His wallet.  Because he’d never brought it in the first place. He’d only offered to pay.  He had never actually handed me his wallet!  We’d completely fabricated that part of the story!

And here’s where the angels actually intervened.  What if we had realized we didn’t have the wallet at the convenience store- one hour away from home?  We would have probably driven back to get it, which would have taken more than twice as long as what we ended up doing.  And it would have been a very un-fun two hours.  In traffic.

I make up stories all the time – I create motives, fabricate background information, and selectively remember facts.  And I just finished a book, a rather dark book, but an incredible story that illustrates this so well.  It’s called The Sense of An Ending, by Julian Barnes.  It’s a short, engaging novel that so clearly illustrates the power of story to affect real lives.  You’ll think you know what’s happening right up until the end – I won’t spoil it.

So, what stories are you telling yourself these days about the circumstances around you?  Do you have a good example of how you turned around what seemed like crummy circumstances into a better story?  Are you noticing the intervention of angels/the universe/luck, or whatever you want to call it, in your life?  I’d love to hear!  Email me at carla@livingwildandprecious.com or share your story in the comments below.